something crazy has happened!

okay, this is breaking news so you probably have not heard about it yet!!

way back when the yankees were stealing current day USA away from the naitive americans, things got a little messy. battles were fought for land rights between various countries and naitive tribes. when america was finally liberated from the british, the naitive american indians were the last group standing in the way for us. to deal with them, we threw them all onto reservations to appease their outcry. this, of course, worked because the indians really had no means of defending their land against the mighty USA.

a little somthing that most people dont know, though, is this...

because of all the bloodshed and bullying we did to the naitive americans, when we stole all their land, we gave them the option to buy back what was once theirs for $1trillion. it was a bit of a funny joke in washington at the time, because back then there was not even a trillion dollars in the entire world, so obviously these poor indians could never afford this. the treaty was signed and everyone went their seperate ways.

well, years later an indian by the name of engine moneybags opened up the first indian reservation casino. the americans were a little annoyed at first, but because we still felt bad for taking all their land, we allowed them the right to open casinos, figuring they would just waste all the profits on american booze, thus further inflating our economy.

the indians, however, were smart. they kept the trillion dollar option treaty in a glass case in the casino vault, knowing with patience and persistence, they would eventually raise the money needed to buy back their land.

well, my fellow americans, today is the day that the indians have made it to a trillion dollars. after many many casinos were opened in reservations across the nation, the money was all pooled together and taken directly to the white house.

president bush immediately declared war on the indians, but because all of our troops are busy in the middle east, the indians easily defeated the few troops who remained here, in the battle of indian-american freedom.

the indians, therefore, are now the rightful owners of most of current day america. we still have hawaii and alaska, since they were annexed after the takeover from the indians. because of this, all 300,000,000 american citizens have until next tuesday to leave the country or else face the tomahawk. the good news is that the airline industry is sure to see a big rise in profits in the coming days.

the end.